BumFloat Hands-Free Recreational Floatation Device

Welcome to the future. This magnificent device is called the BumFloat and it is essentially a floatation device in the shape of a diaper. It allows the user to float in a relaxed sitting position and keep both hands comfortably above water level. This is especially convenient for consuming beverages (perhaps of the alcoholic variety?) while floating in the lake or pool. You may not want to share your BumFloat with other people though because let’s be honest, most people are pissing in these things – I mean they are shaped like a diaper. Perhaps the BumFloat 2.0 will feature a zippable crotch area so you can have the option to avoid pissing straight into the fabric. That being said, this version is optimal for cold water situations where you want your warm urine to circulate your swimwear for longer so you can conserve heat. Put it on backwards for even more piss-warming functionality plus you get the “thong” style in the back.

EDIT: I have requested the manufacturers to put a “pouch” in the crotch area in the next version of this product so men can wear it more comfortably without swim trunks.