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Zulay Kitchen Premium Apple Corer.

This is the most fun you’ll ever have coring apples, guaranteed. Stop right now. Stop thinking it. You’re thinking “Coring apples isn’t a fun activity…”

That’s because you’ve never used the Zulay Kitchen Premium Apple Corer. This bad boy takes apple coring to the next level. Gripping the smooth apple-red ergonomic handle is like holding a gun. As you wrap your cold arthritic fingers around the handle you’re overcome with a sense of power. Your fingers aren’t cold anymore – they’re radiating with energy as you grab your first victim – I mean apple.

Your hands begin to sweat with excitement as you position the stainless steel serrated blade over the apple’s core – thank goodness for that non-slip handle. PUNCH. TWIST. PULL. The apple’s core effortlessly slides right out – OH YES. You press down on the spring-loaded lever to release the apple core and it falls helplessly into the trash can. A singular drop of apple juice drips off the blade, evidence of what just took place.

You smile as you look down at the apple pie recipe – it calls for 10 cored apples. YES YES YES. You lose yourself in a fury of apple coring. Your grip tightens with every thrust into another apple’s skin. It’s a f***ing massacre. They didn’t stand a chance against the Zulay Kitchen Premium Apple Corer. You set your weapon down in triumph and exhale as you wipe yourself down. Victory. Sweet granny smith victory.